Why Should I Trust You?
Anytime we flip a switch, turn a key in the ignition, or mail a letter, we expect something to happen. Each act involves an exercise in trust. We trust that something will happen. Many times the question comes up, who or what do we trust? Trust is an essential, vital ingredient in our daily living. You cannot touch, taste or see trust, and you cannot live a day without escaping its effects.
One theorist defines trust as a belief in the goodness of others. I define trust as ‘communication + commitment + time’. The parties must feel free to communicate. Not just talk to the other person, but talk with the other, exchanging ideas.
The relationship must have commitment. Each party needs to feel that the other is committed to them, that they will not leave just because something is said or done with which they disagree. They need to know the other person has their best interest in mind and will stay with them.
Time is needed. Many times there will be open communication, there will be a commitment, but that commitment has not passed the test of time. In relationships where there is communication and a commitment that has passed the test of time, there is trust. This is the kind of trust a person can depend on.
The question arises, why should I trust you? Trust is an essential part of family life. In both the marital and parental relationships, there must be trust. Each person needs to be able to count on each other, and have that sense of safety that comes from trust within the home.
When trust is established in families, everyone benefits. The environment becomes one where there is a lower amount of stress and home is a happier place.
Some of the ways we can go about rebuilding trust are:
- Fulfill promises: When you make promises take the necessary steps to fulfill them. Children don’t understand when parents are unable to keep their promises. If you are unable to keep a promise, make the effort to explain what happened.
- Say what you mean: The home becomes an untrustworthy environment when people make threats or say things they don’t mean. They become empty words. It is important that people can trust what you say.
- Encourage others with kind words: Family members need to be built up. The home is to be a place where you can be refreshed at the end of the day. When homes don’t have encouragement, they become a place of dread.
- Don’t take what doesn’t belong to you: This includes material things and liberties. Although this seems like a simplistic policy, it is very important in families. When we respect others’ property and space, an environment of trust flourishes.
- Look for the good in situations: Sometimes the people we live with, or the situations we have to face are less than ideal. In these situations, it is important to find some good. This will help you make a change in your mind set so that you will be in a situation where trust can develop. If you only see the bad, it will destroy the atmosphere of safety. As a result, trust will go out the window.
Without trust, it is impossible to develop the intimacy, closeness and fulfillment that each of us need. Trust is essential. We all need trust, and desire trust. It is important that we give trust. The more we give trust away, the more we will experience it. Learn who and what you can safely put your trust in. My hope is that each time you flip a switch, turn the key or mail a letter, it will serve as a simple reminder that we need trust. Trust is part of our daily lives, and we must take the steps to make ourselves more trustworthy everyday.