Good people can cheat

A question you may have thought many times concerns whether or not the cheater is evil. They may view themselves as a good person. When they view themselves as good while you see them as evil, communication will break down. There is little room for compromise when the two of you are polarized on the good-evil continuum.

I do think that good people can cheat. What people do is very different from who they are. Although good people can cheat, that does not excuse what they have done. Cheating does not automatically make them ‘evil’. Although cheating does not automatically make the cheater evil, an important question they need to consider is “Do they recognize the evil in cheating?” Many cheaters do not see the evil in what they did. They are blinded to seeing it. In some cases, their blindness is intentional avoiding, yet in more cases, they do not recognize evil for what it is.

When a cheater does not see the evil in what they did, they will not be remorseful about it. In their mind, they assume the position of “why ask forgiveness for something that is not wrong?” Instead of attacking the cheater as ‘evil’, you may want to consider attacking the problem of them not viewing the cheating as evil. If the two of you do not agree on this, then there is little common ground to work with in overcoming the affair.

When the both of you see the evil in the cheating, then you can work together. At first it may be acknowledging the evil impact of the cheating. Then you can move to the evilness of the cheating itself. If you start identifying the cheater as evil, they will take it personally and react personally. When they react, they will quit listening to you. So if you hope to make any headway at overcoming evil, avoid attacking the cheater.