Kith and Kin
The Celtic expression ‘kith and kin’ refers to where one is from and the family to which one belongs. Children need a sense of where they fit in and where they belong. This need will either be met within the home or outside of the nuclear family. When society goes through changes, the need increases for a tangible sense of who they are, and where they are from. Parents provide answers to these needs by how they live. The answers provided by parents will serve either as excess baggage or a noble heritage passed from one generation to another. When the parent-provided answers are inadequate, children seek answers elsewhere.
Children need a sense of belonging. Family involves not only who children are born to, but ‘where’ they belong. Early in childhood children learn what it means to belong as a member of their families. Experiences within the family provide the foundation for identity along with belongingness and loyalty. A daunting question in this area is “would other people want to be a member of our family?”. What does it mean to be a member of your family? When we mention the family name, what does the name connote? Children want to be a part of a group who cares, loves and where they are a valued and needed member. When biological families do not provide adequate answers, artificial families rise to the occasion as gangs, clubs, and underground subcultures. These artificial families provide a sense of identity, belonging and affiliation.
Children need a sense of belonging. Family involves not only who children are born to, but ‘where’ they belong. Early in childhood children learn what it means to belong as a member of their families. Experiences within the family provide the foundation for identity along with belongingness and loyalty. A daunting question in this area is “would other people want to be a member of our family?”. What does it mean to be a member of your family? When we mention the family name, what does the name connote? Children want to be a part of a group who cares, loves and where they are a valued and needed member. When biological families do not provide adequate answers, artificial families rise to the occasion as gangs, clubs, and underground subcultures. These artificial families provide a sense of identity, belonging and affiliation.
Children need to know their place in time and physical location. It is similar to viewing a map of life with the familiar “You are here” clearly marked. Knowing where they are from provides a sense of security. An awareness of the unique time in history and national heritage help a child know their place in the world. The inclusion of Texas and US history in school are examples of how schools address this need. An awareness of ‘where they belong’ comes from parents teaching their children family history and the accomplishments of previous generations. Awareness of place deepens as the child increases their knowledge and understanding of national heritage. From this awareness comes a knowledge of the benefits and limitation of their place. Family involvements in cultural festivals help in this area.
Reappraising the messages parents give their children in the areas of ‘kith and kin’ are a daunting but a necessary task. The need for solid, tangible answers concerning who they are and where they belong is highlighted by the empty answers provided by popular culture. Children will look for ‘kith and kin’ either within the home or at the mall. Loving parents can provide better answers in the home than Marilyn Manson, No Limit Records and ‘South Park’.
