Moving Past Affair Reminders

In recovering from the affair, you will find often find yourself dealing with reminders of the affair. I use the term ‘ghosts’ in thinking about these reminders, since they often have a power of the cheater and others. Those ghosts also have a way of haunting your thinking even when you do not see them or come into direct contact with them.

Some of the reminders, such as lover’s gifts will need to be thrown out. When an object does nothing but generate reminders of what happened and generate unwanted feelings, you need to remove it, NOW. Although you tell yourself that they are “just things”, their associations give those things power over you or your spouse. The damage they inflict is not worth having them around.

It is not by accident that some hardcore seducers often know the power of such trinkets in attracting lovers back to them. These are not just innocent objects.

Those objects often work you over on an unconscious level. The discord associated with them is not worth having them around.

You may also have to change the route you take to work or the music you listen to. There could be ‘triggers’ in seeing familiar places or songs that activate old affair related feelings. Although it requires making changes, the effort is worth it. A little effort at going out of your way is better than the emotional hell of reliving what happened.

Some reminders you may have to live with. These will not go away. In dealing with these triggers, you can use change. Change the way your home is decorated or the arrangement of the furniture. By changing your surroundings, it can help to counter the effects of triggers that you still have to live with.